A Soul Of An Artist
What it’s like to have a soul of an Artist? Let me tell you, it’s not that fascinating instead quite scary and filled with darkness. I am writing this article not to make you scared but want to show you reality of having a soul of an Artist.
I think being an Artist, the one most thing I crave about is to get appreciated for my work and talents. The difficult and the most scary part of my life is “Not living a life of an Artist”. I am 30 and still have not figured out what I really want from my life. The only thing I know about myself that I am confident and scared about is “I have a soul of an Artist”.
At age 30, it hits me more because I have yet not discovered myself fully as exactly what will feed my soul but roughly I know indulging in creative work like being in front of camera, art work, dance, singing and drawings feed my soul.
I feel I’ am being impatient now for not being in a place where I see myself working. The one thing that scares me the most is “dying without living my dreams”. I don’t know exactly when I will achieve that moment when I will feel that I have “Arrived” but to be truly honest I am gettting impatient every single day to live that moment.
You know the dark part of this entire scenario, “I feel LOST”. I feel lost because people who are close to me, I am not being able to serve them financially, emotionally or physically. The feeling of being “stuck” in life scares me. As much as I want to fix things in my life as early as possible and become financially, emotionally and physically available for my loved ones, I know it’s going to take good time and efforts.
The only thing for now I know is that I have to remain authentic, true to myself to fight my own demons. My heart has not lost the hope yet and I know I will make things work for myself and the feeling of being proud of myself and feeling worthy again will happen soon.
If you are someone like me, know that you are not alone in this journey. As an Artist, our self-doubts, thoughts and feelings scares us but at the same time pushes us to pursue what we actually love doing the most.
Thank you for reading my article and I hope you have found some meaning in this article.