This post is all about the first trimester of my motherhood journey.

Beginning of Motherhood

It all started with a home pregnancy test. I missed my periods by two days and I somewhat felt the cramping pain but it was not consistent like I generally had before my period’s due date. I was all nervous and there was a bit of excitement too because I and my husband were kind of ready to extend the family.

I was the one who was confused initially but my husband was all ready for the new journey of parenthood. He loves kids and he has this thought that when he will turn 50 years old, he wants his kid to be at least 20 years old so that he can enjoy some quality time along with him or her. So, then what even I got convinced. Haha:)

When I first saw my pregnancy test results with two red lines, I kind of got scared and nervous as I started getting these numerous thoughts of being a responsible mother, whether I am going to be a good mother or not, Is it the right time for me for having my own kid, will it be all worth at the end, will I have to sacrifice my career, what will I do if I am not financially independent, am I in hurry for no reasons. All these thoughts within 1-2 minutes made me really “SCARED”.

Somehow, I came out of the washroom and went to my husband. He was attending his normal office call. Looking at me he muted the call and asked me, what happen? I told him “I am pregnant”. He smiled and said finally my sperm has shown its magic. Somehow his reaction made me relaxed. All those thoughts just got vanished within a few seconds and I then touched my tummy with a smile on my face.

The next day, we went to the doctor. Did all the necessary check-ups, since the pregnancy was at a very early stage, in the ultrasound nothing was visible except the sack which is generally visible during early pregnancy. The doctor looking at my ultrasound report, confirmed again that yes, I am pregnant! She happily wished us both for this good news. After that, we went back home with all the excitement.

Symptoms during the first trimester

But soon I started having the real experience of the first trimester. I started feeling uncomfortable, uneasy, and heavy within a few days. My breast felt swollen, my stomach felt bloated, I felt like puking most of the time, started having a headache in the morning, felt very low on an energy level. All these symptoms of the first trimester made me a totally horrible person. In all these, the only support system I had was my husband but that was not enough.

Due to the covid crisis, I somehow didn’t get the chance to meet my family for a period of one year after my marriage. This fact had made me more cranky as a person. I started feeling too low, at night I use to get up from my sleep and I used to cry for feeling all alone even after having my husband along with me.

Most of the time I use to get upset with my husband for not spending quality time with me as he remained occupied from 10 am in the morning to 2 pm at night due to his crazy startup work schedule and covid impact on the economy, the work pressure, and workload were getting worst day by day. All these factors just added more worries and restlessness to my mind.

Then finally one day I sat with my husband and said, I feel like consulting the doctor again as I am not feeling good at all and I am really worried about my pregnancy. We then went to the doctor and shared all my experiences and feelings. After listening to me carefully, she first said that it’s good that you are sharing your feelings so openly, many people don’t do that, and due to which they get more depressed. The doctor advised me to visit my family after completing my three months and said that you please go to your hometown and take this break because it will act as therapy for you.

Things I Did For Making Myself Happy

Soon, me and my husband booked our flight tickets and I finally visited my family, attended my cousin brother’s marriage, and trust me after meeting my father and other family members, I was feeling much better and relaxed.

 

The above picture of mine truly depicts that I was all happy after meeting my family.

To some of you, I might sound very stupid to do that, being pregnant and making the decision to travel especially when there are covid cases all around but trust me nothing would have made me more relaxed and calmer than meeting my dearest father and family members.

Sometimes it is important to understand what is your deeper need. If you try to keep yourself away from it, you will only create more problems for yourself. It is easy to tell someone to stay strong, be in a good mindset, and understand the situation but sometimes you can’t do any of that because your deeper need asks you to act differently. My advice is that don’t take yourself too seriously all the time, sometimes we need to loosen up. In the end, we all are humans, we all go through different emotions. If all the time we try to avoid our true emotions, it is going to disturb our true being.

Conclusion:

So here is my final take for all you lovely readers that if like me you are also new to motherhood and are in your first trimester, experiencing some mixed feelings then understand that it is completely ok not to feel great all the time, don’t feel disappointed, you are not alone. If you feel that nothing is helping you or you are depressed, then consult a good doctor or seek help. Don’t be ashamed of your feelings.

Honestly, there will be some nasty people around you, who will tell you that you are overreacting to the whole situation but trust me don’t listen to anyone who tries to make you feel too small. You know your body better than anyone else, listen to your needs carefully, and do things that make you feel comfortable and happy.

This post is all about the first trimester of my motherhood journey.

If you are keen on knowing what exactly happens inside our body during the first trimester of pregnancy, week by week, you can read the below blog by parent.com

Your First Trimester of Pregnancy, Week-by-Week

Thank you for reading my blog, I hope you enjoy your stay with me.

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